i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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