You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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