We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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