its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
