and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
