I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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