his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
