why didn't you poke me back
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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