Already got asked if we're dating
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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