btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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