You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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