And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
