Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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