hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
