I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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