I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
