Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
