You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think my vagina is haunted
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
don't judge my taste in strippers
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
