So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
