I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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