i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just google imaged poop.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
