I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
