if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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