I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
