Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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