Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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