i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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