his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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