Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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