I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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