i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
