is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
