My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
did you just send me my own nude
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
