im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
