I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
