He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
