Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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