i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
