Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
