My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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