Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
