mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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