PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize