It was confusing and full of hummus
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
