Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

Let's get naked and see who's stronger.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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(519): View more from Ontario

We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I'm down.

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(302): View more from Delaware

dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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(518): View more from New York

I can feel the alcohol in my calves

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. you cant fuck a burger.

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(734): View more from Michigan

The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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(416): View more from Toronto

We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again

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