I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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