I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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