I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My hand turned me down
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
