WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
