Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
