His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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