Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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