just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
