just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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