But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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