Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
