well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
