piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I came so hard my ears popped.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
