Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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