he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
