She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize