Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
